one last time

 one last time

appear in my dreams,
so i have to lose you all over again
when i wake up,
sit in the quiet like a distant memory,
fading away, but always a part of me
"love me just this one more time",
is something i can't say,
so i hold my breath,
and watch you step away.
because loving me felt like a sin,
even on the brightest days,
for i kept my heart shut,
and you never knew the words i had to say.
so i carry the weight,
like a stone in my chest,
when i didn't say i loved you,
for i wanted to say it,
with your eyes locked on mine,
while you'll run into my arms 
just this one more time,  then,  "i don't ever want to lose you again", is something i'd say, only to stand there alone, and watch you walk away.